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Hi... I'm Minky the spider monkey. Welcome to my branch in cyberspace.
We
decided it was high time I had a website
because everyone else in the world has one and they aren't nearly as
entertaining or interesting as I am (they can't help it... they just ain't
monkeys). Besides, humom lives in fear that I'll drop dead at any moment and
thinks somehow this might immortalize me. At 20, I'm not holding my
breath but "Tah-daah!", here it is. Find out more than you ever
wanted to know about me in my monkey
bio. Swing by for weekly entries
in the Blah-Blah Blog which is full of my monkey
musings and minutiae... get hip to my history,
humor and monkey
jargon. There are even **pictures of
ME
** which you should find quite adorable.
Now let's get something straight: I am NOT one
of those imitation cyber
monkeys, nor am I a person masquerading as a monkey. I am
an honest-to-goodness, banana-eatin', butt-scratchin',
tantrum-throwing, in-the-flesh, swings-by-his-tail spider monkey... just take a
look at my pictures if you don't believe me.
Hey, if we ever get our act
together, humom and I might even put a webcam in my habitat so you
could see me swingin' in the flesh... that would
be pretty darn cool, huh?
Some of you are probably aghast-- even sickened--
by the mere mention of my existence. A real monkey,
you say, imprisoned in captivity?? Monkeys should not be held captive... how cruel, unusual, and uncivilized...
quick, call the
pc Police! Monkeys, as all creatures, should be
wild and free,
left to live and die forever untouched in that happily-ever-after utopia, the
jungle,
not exploited for the amusement of the humans... right??
Well, duh, I oughta
know... I've put humom through hell for 20 years. Oh I have my
moments, but mostly I'm a big pain in the ass. Considering the alternatives, the fact that I'd be
dead meat by now getting served up instead of served gourmet
meals, I'd have to say I'm happy as a hairy black clam. Can't imagine having to fend for myself,
or having no one attending to my every whim and bidding. Nope, livin' the life of Riley
here in captivity is
just fine by me, but I don't recommend the responsibility of keeping those like me happy
to the faint of heart. FYI, I agree that, in general, monkeys
do not make good pets.
So, PETA-philes and other hard-core humaniacs, lighten up. I've
been around for 20 years... I'm here, get over it.
Everyone else, you're welcome to c'mon in and hang.
NOTE: if you actually read
all this monkey-muck and enjoyed it, is it too much to ask that you buy an "I hang @
PrimativePerspective.com" T-shirt, bumper sticker, fridge magnet or
something so humom will get off my puckered pink butt?? Maybe a hangable,
bendable Minky Dinky Man? How's about if I swing naked in my cage??
Let me know in a Blah-Blah-Blog
comment...