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HI... I'M MINKY THE SPIDER MONKEY. WELCOME TO MY BRANCH IN CYBERSPACE.
When I turned 20, Humom decided I should have a website because everyone else in the world had one and they ain't nearly as interesting as I am. Besides, she lives in fear that I'll drop dead any moment and thinks a website might somehow immortalize me. Well, I'm 26 now, and ONCE WE GET SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WORKED OUT (which is TOTALLY Humom's job and so far she's WAY blowing it), you'll be able to find out more than you ever wanted to know about me-- MINKY THE MONKEY-- in my monkey bio, get hip to my humor and monkey jargon, and look at pictures of me-- MINKY THE MONKEY-- which you should find quite adorable. For now, just swing by for weekly entries in my Blahg that's chock full of human observations, monkey musings and minutiae...
FYI: I am NOT one of those fake cyber monkeys, nor a person masquerading as a monkey. I am an honest-to-goodness, banana-eatin', butt-scratchin', tantrum-throwing, swings-by-his-tail spider monkey... just take a look at my pictures if you don't believe me.
I now, I know... some of you are probably aghast (perhaps even sickened?) by the mere mention of my existence. A real monkey, you say, imprisoned in captivity?? Quick... call the PC police! Monkeys should not be held captive... it's cruel, unusual, and dreadfully uncivilized. Monkeys, as all creatures, should be left wild and free to live and die forever untouched in that happily-ever-after utopia, the jungle, not exploited for the amusement of the humans, right??
Well, duh, I oughta know... I've put Humom through hell for 26 years. Oh, I have my moments, but mostly I'm a big pain in the ass. Considering the alternatives (not the least of which is the fact that I'd be dead meat by now getting served up instead of served gourmet meals), I'd have to say I'm happy as a hairy black clam. Can't imagine having to fend for myself, or having no one attending to my every whim and bidding in my old age. Nope, livin' the life of Riley here in captivity is just fine by me, but I don't recommend the responsibility of keeping those like me happy to the faint of heart. I do agree that, in general, monkeys do not make good pets...
So, PETAphiles and other hard-core humaniacs, lighten up. I've been around for 26 years... I'm here, get over it and STAY THE HELL OUTTA MY SPACE! Everyone else, you're welcome to c'mon in and hang...